Jan. 31st, 2023 at 10:58 AM
The call ended, and the low air pressure behind him was enough to make one shiver.
“A plaything?”
The voice sounded like it was squeezed out from between his teeth, and the breath was ice-cold as it fell on Lin Sui’s shoulders.
His arms were still warm, but Yan Qin could feel cold spilling out from his heart, as if he was in the depth of winter, his bones and flesh freezing solid.
Yan Qin didn’t understand, Lin Sui could say there was no love between them, he could say he didn’t like him, but why belittle him like this?
Why did he have to make him feel like a joke?
A cryptic light flashed past Lin Sui’s eyes. He didn’t get up, he didn’t even explain himself, instead he relaxed his body even more, embedding himself into Yan Qin’s embrace.
“Otherwise, what did you think it was, Professor?”
Lin Sui lifted his eyes to look at Yan Qin, asking back naturally.
“Does me saying that hurt your pride? But sticking to me to ride on my popularity and acting alongside me was just to use my resources, I thought you understood.”
This clearly was a position between intimate lovers, but Yan Qin couldn’t feel any happiness.
The beauty in his arms was like a colourful and gorgeous venomous snake that was coiled in his arms, making him clearly realise his own absurd delusions.
He’d been complacently believing in his slow plan, but Lin Sui had never changed.
Yan Qin found it a little hard to endure, the hard thing was not being treated as a plaything by Lin Sui, but rather having his affection misunderstood and trampled on by Lin Sui.
His tenderness was misunderstood as currying favour, his love was understood as an exchange of benefits.
How could this person be so hateful? And how could he make it so that, under such clearly hateful circumstances, he was unable to free himself?
“Resources?”
Yan Qin let out a low laugh, looking into Lin Sui’s eyes and bending over to suck onto his lips, carefully rubbing their lips together.
“This is the only resource I want.”
His greed and ambition were in full display at the moment.
“Your acting skills aren’t bad, at least your performance as Xing Yu was particularly vivid.”
Yan Qin tried to determine if Lin Sui had ever given him any signs of love in the past, or if everything had been his own wishful thinking.
After “Twelve Nights” was aired, it was praised as another one of Lin Sui’s performances.
“Thank you for the praise, as a matter of fact, it goes to show how taking a plaything’s love for granted will sooner or later lead to an accident.”
Lin Sui was unconcerned as he licked his lips, which had been reddened by the kiss.
Xing Yu was crafty and secretly played with people’s hearts, there were actually only eleven nights every time, and what he liked doing the most as the cleaner behind the scenes was participating in the game and making the situation devolve into chaos.
Ying Ting was also only his toy, but he never expected that he would actually be killed by the stalker who kept saying he was going to protect him first.
He took Ying Ting’s love for granted and was a little reluctant to follow through with his plan, but he was killed first. However, he knew that no one else could leave this place apart from him.
He was a cunning predator, if he lost his life during the game, no one would be able to survive.
When Ying Ting found the picture in the room, he understood whose design this was. He actually never thought that Xing Yu was the cleaner, he just wanted to survive.
But even if he killed Xing Yu, he was still Xing Yu’s toy.
“I thought you were a smart person, those people talked about how great your acting skills were, but I don’t see it.”
“We’ve already finished filming ‘Damp’.”
Lin Sui got up from Yan Qin’s arms and stood in front of him with a bit of annoyance.
“Damp” was the movie they’d just finished filming not long ago, it was an indie artistic BL film, which wasn’t Lin Sui’s preference, but the other party was an international director who was good at filming emotionally exquisite literary films, plus, he had taken the initiative to invite him and Yan Qin, so Lin Sui agreed.
The story of “Damp” took place in a lakeside surrounded by thick fog after the main character, An Xu, had encountered some family and career accidents and decided to take a road trip to get his mind off of things.
His bad luck didn’t end there, his car broke down on a desolate and uninhabited stretch of the highway and he had no internet, and, as he was trying to repair it, a thick fog rolled all around him.
As he was in a depressed mood, the sound of clopping from a horse’s hooves came from outside, and someone lightly knocked on the window of his car door.
The person was a beautiful young man, he was a famous freelance painter who’d come here to sketch from nature to pass the time, and had rented a horse from a distant herder. He wandered about freely every day, but had gotten a little lost due to the fog, and just so happened to see the car lights.
When visibility was a little better, the young man brought An Xu to his tent, and a sleigh bell rang softly in the dim light.
The young man was staying by the lakeside, and since it rained that evening, the surroundings were damp.
Interesting things happened between them, An Xu was in both a difficult situation and at ease, and he received genuine spiritual relaxation.
Three days later, the heavy rain stopped, and it was also time for An Xu to leave the tent.
That ambiguous and sentimental affection drifting under the damp fog also evaporated like water vapour once the skies cleared.
“You’re too deep into the role.”
There was a bit of tiredness and annoyance on that fair face, and those passionate eyes were filled with disinterest towards Yan Qin’s attitude.
When Lin Sui first arrived, he thought about what trials he’d give Yan Qin, since the conditions this time were even more demanding than those of their business games.
In the original book, Yan Qin returned to the top and seized every award in a grand slam, his acting skills became even more refined during the process, and he achieved a profound understanding of playing the role of a character.
Lin Sui couldn’t simply rely on business resources to manufacture bottlenecks to pressure Yan Qin because, after Yan Qin’s accident, these things were already not enough to threaten his state of mind.
In trade wars, there was the concept of betting small to win big, and the same was applicable in the entertainment circle. As long as Yan Qin’s state of mind was good and his acting skills progressed, he’d be able to make a comeback even if he appeared in small-budget movies. Besides, the whole world was so big it was impossible for there to be no room for negotiation even if there were monopolies in the entertainment world. As long as there was interest, someone would give Yan Qin a chance.
Therefore Lin Sui didn’t put priority in making external difficulties, even his very initial ‘blacklisting’ had only been to drive Yan Qin to create his own studio to avoid landing in a pitfall.
What could deal a blow to a gifted actor who liked delving into his performances, then?
Probably the person he liked dismissing his affections as beneath him, and even throwing in the comment that he was ‘too deep into the role’.
Those simple five words obliterated any traces of his love.
Lin Sui believed that, after this, no matter what script Yan Qin read or what he acted in, all he would be able to think about was the comment he made right here and right now.
This would turn into a hard-to-overcome shadow in Yan Qin’s heart, but when he did surmount it, Lin Sui’s goal would be achieved.
The villain’s purpose was to catalyse the protagonist’s transformation.
Yan Qin stared at Lin Sui in a daze, the emotion in those two eyes was stifled and depressed, and those pitch-black eyes looked at him as if about to shed tears.
But the tears didn’t fall, they looked like black clouds gathered in the horizon, weighing him down heavily.
Lin Sui’s heart ached slightly, he avoided Yan Qin’s gaze as if he didn’t even want to look at Yan Qin any more, and left.
Only the process of going through suffering could be called honing, warmth would only make a person fall.
Lin Sui put on a facemask and a cap, and called with Fu Nai.
In the car, Fu Nai handed the information she’d been given to Lin Sui, saying: “I’ve already picked a few suitable scripts for next time, you can see which ones you like, they all have roles that fit Yan Qin.”
“No need to care about him.”
Lin Sui didn’t look at his phone, but turned towards the scenery outside the window.
Fu Nai was stunned for a moment before reacting to what Lin Sui meant, but she was still a little surprised.
“Okay.”
Did this mean they were going to break it off? Did they have a falling out? Or did something else happen?
Fu Nai had many doubts in her mind but, seeing Lin Sui’s face, she didn’t ask any.
Whatever her boss says goes, right? Fu Nai thought it was a good idea to break it off for Lin Sui’s personal future prospects, they had appeared in so many movies together, and some of them were even related to emotional dramas, that now whenever anyone mentioned Lin Sui, they would also think about Yan Qin.
Fu Nai also thought it would be good for Yan Qin to break it off. Yan Qin had enough skills and reputation to spare, and didn’t have to act as Lin Sui’s supporting role every time, Yan Qin had rejected many scripts because of Lin Sui, and one of them even made it to the finals for an award.
But the matter between the two of them… Fu Nai shook her head internally, if Lin Sui was just her artist, she would interfere, but Lin Sui was still her boss, so she just didn’t get involved.
Lin Sui had never been thinking of hiding it, Fu Nai had seen Lin Sui wearing Yan Qin’s clothes more than once.
Sigh, don’t think about it, it’s all over.
“Go buy me a cup of passion fruit milk tea.”
The young man looking out the window suddenly opened his mouth. Fu Nai looked at the milk tea shop by the side of the street and had the diver pull up to it.
There was no one in the small milk tea shop. Fu Nai also bought herself a cup and handed the other passion fruit milk tea to Lin Sui.
Lin Sui drank a mouthful. The flavour of the milk couldn’t cover up the sour passion fruit taste that spread in his mouth, Lin Sui swallowed with a blank face, then forced himself to drink a second mouthful.
Fu Nai asked somewhat worriedly: “Is it bad?”
“I’m a little nauseous, it’s fine.”
Lin Sui shook his head, what he did was indeed nauseating.
Lin Sui didn’t drink any more, he gazed at the scenery outside the window and closed his eyes wearily.
Inside the empty room, Yan Qin was stunned for a while before he slowly left.
He was too hurt, it was like every step he took tore painfully at his heart.
…Too deep into the role?
That was all the judgement he got?
He felt too empty, feelings of love, hate, madness, and anger interweaved together, leaving him in some kind of numb state.
Yan Qin returned home and closed the door.
He walked into his movie room out of habit, where a small box stood out in the display case among his collection of films.
Yan Qin took it out. He looked at the white button inside the box for a long time, then dropped it on the ground.
His face was emotional and uncertain. The box was opened by the fall, and the white button inside shot out to an unknown corner of the room, leaving no trace behind.
Yan Qin sat on the sofa, turned on his phone, and logged onto his side Weibo account.
His assistant had made him a main account, but he had never logged on, leaving it for his assistant to manage.
He read the words ‘Yan Returns To Lin’ and pressed on the button to exit the super topic.
He exited out of Lin Sui’s personal super topic, exited out of all the groups, and began deleting all his posts.
He had made over two thousand posts relating to Lin Sui in the last two years, he pressed delete on each one as if this too would be able to delete Lin Sui from his heart.
What was the good thing about liking a person like him?
But he still liked him.
From day to night, to the point that Yan Qin’s sight got a little fuzzy.
Someone sent him a message, Yan Qin slowly clicked on it.
@It’s Suisui Ya: Sister, why are you suddenly leaving? Why did you quit everything? Did the house collapse? I looked it up but didn’t find anything!
@It’s Suisui Ya: You don’t like Lin Sui?
A long time ago, when Yan Qin first wanted to leave the group, Suisui had asked him that question.
Yan Qin’s heart was pained, it was Lin Sui who didn’t like him.
Why didn’t Lin Sui like him? Even if it was just a little bit, just a little bit of fondness would be fine.
Seeing that Yan Qin didn’t answer, Suisui continued sending him messages.
@It’s Suisui Ya: Did something happen irl to make you decide not to be a fan?
@It’s Suisui Ya: Actually, being a fan is fine, shipping is also fine, it’s just something that makes you happy, you don’t need to be too bound by the numbers. It’s also fine if you’re tired and just want to look on casually. Wasn’t it you who first said that you were certain Yan Returns To Lin was real? There hasn’t even been an official announcement ending it, how could you give up?
Yan Qin stared fixedly at the screen, his fingers tightening in their grip.
He still hadn’t seen the ending, how could he give up?
Since pursing him had been useless, then he would just try to possess him.
Yan Qin stopped deleting his posts, he turned on all the lights in his home and began looking for that missing button.
He searched everywhere inside the movie room and in the area outside of it, he even turned over other places, but came back empty handed.
That solitary box kept its open state as it lay on the ground, looking like it was wailing in anguish, and also like it was laughing with derision.
Yan Qin moved all the furniture and turned the place upside down, turning his originally neat house into a complete mess.
He finally found that button lying in the small crack of a low cabinet, it was dusty and a little filthy.
Yan Qin let out a breath and pressed the button to his heart, hanging his head down without saying a word.
Comments
Thank you for the chapter!